What do you do when you realize you've lost something? Most people go back to the last place they remember having the item, then retrace their steps until they find it. What happens when that doesn't work? Retrace your steps again, right? And again and again and again! What if you haven't found it yet? How do you feel? Frustrated? A little crazy, perhaps? Your memory seems to have betrayed you; how do you manage this moment?
Many challenges in life can put us in a very similar frame of mind. We repeat our actions over and over, losing time we need for other things, and still not finding the solution! As your frustration increases, the speed in which you repeat these actions is also likely to increase and the chances of your successfully solving your issue is likely to decrease in equal proportion to your accelerated actions.
Why is it that we know this becomes a fruitless effort, and yet we cannot seem to stop ourselves from taking this frustrating route?
Simple. Because sometimes, the process actually works.
Let's talk about when it's not working. How do you know when to break the cycle and look for another strategy? Let's use ourDEALapproach to obstacles, and see if we can break through this one. Remember, DEAL stands for
Imagine: you've lost your keys and so far, your usual process for locating them has not worked. Gaining distance can be as simple as walking away for a moment and taking a few calming breaths. Perhaps draw some grounding energy from theSun Moon Breath Body Link to re-center yourself and let go of any negative feelings you've taken on at this point. Remember, going back to your issue with feelings of frustration or anticipation of failure is likely to blind you to the solution (and make this process even longer!) If you can help it, do not return to the issue until you have cleared yourself of this kind of energy.
How can you embrace being late for an appointment because you cannot find your keys? Aromantic perspectiveon life will help. Perhaps you need this moment to show you that you are going too fast. If you felt rushed the night before, you likely weren't taking the time to place things in their designated locations. Take this moment to do a self-check: if you are not caring for your belongings, are you caring for yourself?
Perhaps the kindest thing to do is reschedule your appointment, set your life back in order as needed, and then approach the rest of the day. When the pressure of knowing you are keeping someone waiting is lifted, your mind can clear and you are more likely to find what you need. Use the time you've provided yourself to set any other things right that you've beenputting offand you will have completely turned this obstacle into an opportunity!
What have you gained from this experience? Perhaps the lesson is building time into your schedule for preparation for the next day, or slowing down a little and trying to do a little less so you have time to clear your mind and gain some focus and perspective on all of the things you are responsible for in your life. Whatever it is, take the time to fully absorb it. This moment will benefit you down the path if you use it to shape your actions from now on.
How do you stay disciplined in your approach to challenges? What is the key to keeping calm and focused, and not letting them control your day? Let us know in the comments below, on Facebook or with a Tweet!